Posted by: Stephan | September 4, 2009

Ice hockey is fun

I like hockey…

 

I played hockey for 8 years. I started when I was 7 years old and I quit february 2009.  Hockey was always a nice hobby for me, but I didn’t ever really consider it becoming a job, even tough I played in a basic. There are a couple of reasons why I quit. First of all my lungs could not take it anymore and i was sick all the time. The doctors didn’t find anything abnormal in the blood tests or lungs scans. But since I stopped playing I haven’t been sick. I quess that muy genes and the icy air dont’t fit together. Secondly my couch and the team spirit weren’t the best. And then finally there’s school, which I have to invest in. Am i sad? Not really.. Ofcourse on some level I miss it but I am not sorry for quitting it. Now my hobby is gym. I go there about three times per week. And I like it a lot.

 


Responses

  1. You’re using good and interesting language but
    the text is pretty short but otherwise good.
    I didn’t spot any mistakes.

    +Cool video.

  2. Contents: Very good
    Media / appearance: Good
    Grammar: Good
    –> i = I
    –> You have left some sentences unfinished, always read your essay through to make sure it makes sense!
    —> Spelling!

    I enjoyed the personal touch in your essay, I’m glad you decided to describe your feelings instead of just your hobby. The structure is good, but paragraphs would be nice. WELL DONE!


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